Off Day

Yesterday was just a weird day for no apparent reason. The day started the same as any day, but as each hour passed by I could feel anxiety building. I didn't write in my journal, I didn't do my night-time yoga, I over-slept this morning and I didn't do my morning-yoga either.

I feel better today, inspite of the bad start, partly because I'm excited for a short film idea inspired by an experience I had last night. It's a simple idea, like a "slice-of-life", single-shot scene. I need a little time to plan the story arch, and then shoot it soon hopefully. I want to get a faster turn around from idea, develop, and execute. I have a tendency to question my ideas to the point where a new idea distracts from the old, and repeat.

Diane and I watched the already infamous Episode 4 of "True Detective", and I may have built up to much of an expectation from all the hype I heard; even so, it was still an impressive attempt to push the boundaries of tense edge-of-your-seat action. I'm starting to feel like the show is pushing the envelop of depravity to a degree of disbelief, and I'm hoping they slow things down a little bit.

Tonight, the family is going to Tim & Lauren's apartment to watch:

Color

Last night I successfully acomplished my goal of getting my latest video to the final stage of editing, which was color-grading and sound. 

I always forget how much I enjoy the color-grading process of filmmaking. You get to see the final potential of your vision, because everything before it just looks dry, flat and inconsistent. It is also a nerve recking process because you are constantly turning your grade-filter on-off wondering, "too much, too little, or am I just making this look worse". Not to mention the color of an image will look drastically different per the color of paint on the wall behind your monitor, the time of day, size/kind of display your looking at and exct... 

It's not easy, but it's a fun challenge and a skill that helps you tell your story. 

Here is a before & after of my current project:

Today started off with 20-minutes of yoga. I may have pushed some of my cobra and upward-dog poses a little too hard, and left me with a slight upper back strain. But that pain has already faded and I can easily make an adjustment to avoid re-agitating that. 

Tonight I'm going to take my Dad and Logan out for dinner, and then end the evening with a HBO double-bill of "Game of Theones", and "True Detective". 

Creative Inspiration: Casey Neistat

Daily Journal, 2/24/14

Still going strong with my twice a day yoga routine. I'm feeling a consistent reduction of pain for the first time in a while, so much that I can kind of imagine what it would be like to not be in pain when I move my body. I just have to keep reminding myself again and again, KEEP AT IT SHAWN!

Today I discovered some creative inspiration via: the Richroll podcast Episode #73

I really enjoyed hearing about the life story and creative endeavors of Casey Neistat (click this link for his youtube channel). His opinions on how to define your own creative success, and put forth effort above all else, really inspired me.

I'm really excited to get home and finish my latest video. I have made a deal with my partner, so that when I get home from my dentist appointment, I'm free to focus on finishing this project. All that I left to do is some color-grading and correction. So there is no reason for this to not be finished tonight. I have to be better about finishing what I started, it is just easier to get excited about new ideas, than it is to actually finish the ones you have already started.

"Ideas are just the things you haven't done" ~Casey Neistat~

Sunday!

Last night I started watching HBO's new drama series "True Detective", and I have to say I'm really impressed. It calls upon these dark and tense tones, similar to films like, "The silence of the Lambs", or "Seven". It is beautifully shot and acted in a style similar to "No Country for Old men". I'm really impressed with this show, and I'm counting the seconds until I watch the next episode.

I started Sunday off with my lower-back routine. I'm happy to report that I feel stronger and most importantly I'm in less pain with each go around. I will remain focused on this plan and this one fitness goal until I'm 100% pain/strain free. Then and only then will I start talking about weight loss, distance running and my rock climbing aspirations. 

Logan is down for a nap right now, and I'm doing some color-correction on my next video release. I'm having a lunch meeting for a commercial video gig today, but after that I have the rest of the evening to enjoy however I see fit.

This has been just a fantastic weekend!

Here is a Vine video I took last night. Logan is just getting so big, that I'm saddened to think of a day when he doesn't sleep on my lap like a baby. I know that day will bring new and different opportunities to keep a strong bond, but this gesture of endearment (and adorable exhaustion) will always be near and dear to my heart.

Game On

Daily Journal 2/22/14

I'm feeling fantastic! 

My new twice-a-day lower-back yoga practice is working wonders. I recommend this video to everyone looking for a relaxing flow routine that leaves room to be as challenging as you wish; and I ESPECIALLY recommend this to anyone rehabbing back pain or stiffness. I also recommend all the amazing health-based content on the psychetruth youtube channel




The first two times I did this it was a bit sloppy, but on the third go around I fell into a trance like flow that mixed equal parts strength, flexibility through the spine and deep relaxing thoughts. It was 20-minutes of the best yoga I've ever done in my short yogi-life. 

Last night was a fun night out of the house. I met a few friends for drinks, Diane went out to the city with her cousin for drinks and Logan had a sleepover with his Grandparents. Everyone getting out on their own was very cathartic. The winter season is tough, you coast through the beginning thanks to the holidays  and time off from work, but from January 2nd to today this family of three has been bunking down in the basement watching tv. We really needed to break away, breath some fresh air and expose ourselves to some new environments with a sense of social-independence.

Tonight will be another but different act of catharsis, the decision to watch "Game of Thrones: Season 2". We had this anxiety about watching this since we have not read book 2 yet; but reading time is a hot commodity and I figured why not use that time to read books that haven't been turned into a big budget television drama. We are excited to get back into that rich fantasy universe. Time to light a fire, dim the lights and watch people do horrible things in the pursuit of power.

Happy Friday

Yesterday was a pretty miserable day for me. But I did start my new lower-back routine and I woke up early today and did it again this morning. 

I'm off to a good start, and I'm going to continue on with this positivity through the weekend. I will plan some healthy meals, small serving sized treats :) and some fun physical activities of some kind. 

I also have some creative work to do, which is always exciting. Especially in this case because this new video cut is final and I'm moving forward to color grading. I shot this video a certain way, with two distinct color styles in mind. I can't wait to get my hands dirty and see how this turns out. 

I stumbled across this image on google+ today and I found it very soothing. Enjoy :)

See more of this photographers work here: http://500px.com/Shainblum

Achilles Back

Daily Journal, 2/20/14

I have been focused and working hard towards some big fitness goals. Then my back pain doubled, and a new pain in my foot showed up.

So... I'm feeling defeated. I have put so much effort into a healthy lifestyle and it still feels like my goals are just as far out of my reach as they were back when I first started this journey over a year ago.

My lovely partner is being as supportive as she can; she assures me that I look healthier than ever, and yet I still feel like a rotting sack of shit.

So I need to take a small step back on the fitness goals. I might not be running marathons or climbing mountains this summer, but I can still clean-up a few dietary loose ends and place all my physical energy towards reducing lower back pain in a different way.

I have been doing this foam-rolling exercise once a day for the past month, and it helps.

I will keep that routine going but I will do it twice a day; once in the morning and once before going to bed. I will follow that routine with yoga poses that specifically target the lower back area.

Starting tonight.

Wish me luck, because if it doesn't work, I will scorch the fucking earth with pacifist rage.

i.e. Facebook debates on yahoo news articles.

Rise

Daily Journal, 2/19/14

This morning Logan woke up early and I was able to change his first diaper and start feeding him breakfast. This is a rare occasion as I usually leave for work while he is still sound asleep. 

There is a sweet softness to his demener in the morning. 

(7:00 AM 2/19/14)

The sun looks amazing today, so that makes me hopeful that it will be a day full of positivity and bright smiles. I'll try to lead by example, and have some good water-cooler conversations at work. 

Today's to-do list:

4-mile run

Yoga

Feed George Michael

Video editing 

Friendly

Monday was a good night. Had a nice 4-mile run, played dodge ball with Logan (he lost horribly) and watched some Olympics with Diane. I also had a conversation with some new friends on Facebook. We met while defending veganism on a mutual friends comment thread and now we are going to make plans to hang out. Strange how friends are made these days. 

Connecting with new friends reminds me I should reach out and say hi to some old friends. It's easy to get into that thought process of, "well they aren't reaching out to me, so why reach out to them?", but that is just a semantic after all is said and done. So I'm going to make that a priority this week, and see what happens. 

Today I need to focus and work hard at the day-job, help cook a healthy dinner and do some video editing. 

Simply Happy

Daily Journal, 2/17/14

My Sunday was quite nice, but something happened that I want to elaborate on.

I'm listening to a "TED Radio" podcast episode called Simply Happy. This is a collection of interviews for the innovation and scientific study of human happiness. The entire episode is really interesting and many parts hit on something I struggle with, but one stood above the rest,

Happy people, do things slower, rather than faster.

Diane and I had decided to go out grocery shopping and then on our way home we would take Logan out into the woods to play in the snow. Great idea, but the execution gets tricky. We decide to leave after feeding Logan lunch, then as Logan is eating we see his eyes start to close and he falls asleep in his high-chair. Two-hours later Logan wakes up, we pack up and head out for our little day-trip. We start shopping and my mind started doing some negativity math.


2-hours behind schedule
+ There are chores to do
+ We still have to cook dinner
+ Clean up the mess dinner will make
+ The weekend is ending

= There is no time left and all the fun in the world is dying before my eyes and life is a cruel sick exercise of disappointment and mental anguish.

I was slammed with this crushing anxiety and it instantly took me out of the present moment. I angrily rushed the family out of the grocery store, and declared, "we are not going to the forest preserve, there is no time!". I stewed in the passenger seat staring angrily, then my partner saw the forest preserve and suggested, "lets just stop for a few minutes", and I begrudgingly agreed.

15-minutes of fresh air, sunlight and fun in the snow, was a jolt of pure happiness. With all that anxiety washed away we went on to finish everything we needed to do, and still had plenty of time for leisure before bedtime. Kudos to my partner, because sometimes listening means knowing what your partner is really saying, rather than just hearing the words that are being said.

A message to myself for the future:

Slow down.

Today is a straightforward typical Monday.

• 4-mile run
• Read to Logan
• Watch the Olympics
• Fold Laundry
• Get to bed early